"Is the Arm of the Lord too Short?" (The Story of Joshua and David)

Joshua and David September 11, 2002



David and Joshua (their first time ever having haircuts different from each other!) the day after their 9th birthday


(WARNING:  LONG POST, LOTS OF PICTURES!!!)



 I know I've shared a big story along with each child's birthday, but all of our lives are all part of one huge story, and we all have our own chapters in that story to tell.  I'm the kind of person who loves hearing other people's stories. In God's word we can see that He wanted people to remember what He had done in their lives and tell it again and again for generations to come to always remember His faithfulness to His people.  In light of that, I want to share the "story" of Joshua and David, our twins who just turned 9 years old last month.  I've decided to divide this into two posts, which I figured was acceptable since there are two of them!  Here I just want to share a little about the beginning of their little lives and in the next post I will tell a little more about each of them individually.

We had moved to Georgia the very end of May, 2001 with our two boys (Jake 3 1/2 and Caleb 2).  We settled in and got through our first football season at Landmark and were just beginning to feel we were getting to know people a little better and settle in. Well, sure enough, the end of January we found out we were having baby #3 (so we thought!  Only God knew then it was baby #3 and 4!)  We knew we had wanted more children, and even though the exact timing of this pregnancy wasn't "planned" it was exciting and wonderful.  It would be our second time having a baby due during football season, which is kind of our crazy time of the year (to say the least!), but we weren't too concerned about that.  Life would be busy, but we had always said we wanted 5 or 6 children if the Lord allowed it, and we were getting closer to that goal than we realized!  

I was very sick the first trimester of that pregnancy (much more than the first 2 pregnancies) and was excessively tired.  It was hard keeping myself going alot of days with a 2 and 4 year old at home and no family around, but I was genuinely thankful for this pregnancy and knew feeling the way I did was a good sign that all was well.  It's so strange looking back, because as I prayed for this "baby" (remember, I still thought it was 1) I did something I had never done before during my other pregnancies.  As I would pray, I started saying something like this:  "Lord, please take care of this baby... or babies"  Now, honestly, I never really stopped and thought through that possibly this could be twins...not even for a minute.  However, I just sord of casually added that to my prayers when I would pray over this pregnancy.  It's not unlike me to feel the need to cover all the bases when I pray (used to wear myself out as a kid praying at times...thank you, Lord, for teaching me through the years more of your grace!!), however, when I found out later that there were 2 babies it blew my mind that somehow in my spirit I knew to pray for both of my babies! 

Around 14 weeks I went for a regular checkup.  Kenny was out of school that day, so he stayed home with the little ones while I went for my appointment.  We didn't expect anything significant that day, and he had heard the heartbeat the visit before and was going to the next visit when I would have my regular ultrasound.  My appointment went just fine, but even though I had only gained 2 lbs, which was normal for me by about this point, I got into a discussion with the midwife I was seeing about how I couldn't believe how quickly my belly had begun growing this time compared to my other pregnancies.  They weren't very busy that day (which is unheard of!) and she said, "Do you have twins in your family?!"  "No!" I replied.  She said since they weren't busy, let's just do a quick peek ultrasound just to check.  I was in absolute joyous shock when I looked at that screen and saw 2 babies inside of ME!  Then I laid there and couldn't believe Kenny wasn't there to see this!!  They were kind enough to give me a copy of the video to take home, and I drove home half crying/half laughing about this crazy situation!  I could write another whole post about going home and telling Kenny and the boys, and telling our friends and family, but I better get on with the story for now!

We went a few weeks later to the perinatologist for a check up and thorough ultrasound, since immediately any twin pregnancy falls in the "high risk" category.  We were to find out that day the sex of the babies (yes, we LOVE knowing what we're having ahead of time!!  Sorry to all of you who can't stand that!)  We took Jake and Caleb with us, not expecting anything out of the ordinary.  We were shocked to hear the news given to us that day. After the ultrasound the doctor called us into his office to discuss what had been found. The twins were dealing with a condition called Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome.  This is only seen in cases of identical twins who are sharing a placenta, and basically it's when one twin is receiving more than it's supposed to and the other isn't getting enough.  Both are equally dangerous.  The smaller twin, for obvious reasons, is in danger, because his body isn't able to receive all that it needs from mama to grow and develop.  Along with this comes being surrounded by too little amniotic fluid, as well, which only causes more problems for him.  The larger twin is receiving too much from mama and though growth is not a problem, these babies are often in more danger, because they can go into fluid overload, or congestive heart failure, just like a cardiac patient, and their heart, kidneys, and other organs cannot handle the stress.  This baby usually has excessive fluid in his amniotic sac.  We were also told that the larger twin (Joshua) had something wrong with his kidneys, but they could not tell yet if it was something mild or severe.  The doctor also told us it was very likely that Joshua had some chromosomal abnormality, specifically Down's Syndrome, as well.  Needless to say, this was a lot to take in.  We were there with our other two little boys who couldn't understand all that was going on and were playing around on the floor under our feet in the doctor's office as we got this news.  The doctor went on to tell us that it looked very unlikely that both twins would survive.  When Twin to Twin Transfusion Syndrome starts later in pregnancy there is always the option of delivering them early, but at only 17-18 weeks along it was almost impossible that they would both live.  Just getting to a point in the pregnancy where both would even have a chance was unlikely. He told us at the time there was an 80% chance that one would survive, and entirely unlikely that both would.  Even if they did, there were questions as to how long we would make it in the pregnancy before delivering (meaning even in the case they both survived that long, we were to expect to potentially be delivering babies who were extremely premature, which could bring on an entire new list of possible problems), and it would be uncertain until after delivery what other issues Joshua would have.  Now, in the mix of all of this chaos, keep in mind, we did find out that both of these sweet babies were boys....4 boys.  We were thrilled.  Lots of people had told us once they knew we were having twins that they just knew we would have 2 girls and so that would give us 2 boys, 2 girls, but Kenny and I both went there totally expecting to hear these babies were boys, and the thought of a house full of little boys just excited our hearts. Needless to say, though, our hearts were heavy as we left there that day and when we made the phone calls to our eagerly awaiting family to inform them what we were having, we had to fill everyone in on what the doctors had found.  I can't put into words how trying the following days and weeks were.  There wasn't a thing we could actively "do" to fix or improve this situation...it was a time of praying and waiting that at times felt excruciating.  The more I prayed and read and cried, the more my heart was aching for both of these babies to live.  I would see pictures of moms in books I had gotten holding twins and I would long from the deepest part of my being to be able to hold not just one, but both of these precious babies.  I knew I had to come to a place where I could be thankful if only one of them survived, or even if we lost them both, but I honestly just wasn't there.  Weekly, and sometimes twice weekly, I had to go for ultrasounds to check the babies' status.  One week would be a little improvement and the next would be worse.  It was a constant roller coaster, and the only place that left us was at the feet of Jesus.  We could worry ourselves sick, and it wouldn't improve a single thing.  We could be impatient or restless, but it would only make things worse.  We entered a season of learning to trust the Lord that can't be put into words.  He really was our only hope.  It's funny, because normally hearing that a baby had a kidney problem and possibly Downs Syndrome might have been troubling to us, but in light of the bigger life or death issue we had almost no worries at all about those things. 

I can remember during those weeks of waiting and praying we drew close to the Lord in ways we never had before.  We had to lean on Him and trust Him in ways that we simply had not had to do before all of this.  During that time there were two things that literally leaped off of the pages of God's Word and struck my heart.  The first was the verse in Numbers 11 where Moses is asking God for help, but once God tells him what He plans to do Moses questions how this could be possible...  The Lord's response?  "Is the arm of the Lord too short?"  Now before you scan over that short little verse too quickly, slow down and read it again slowly: "Is the arm of the Lord too short?"  Whoa...meditate on that one for a while next time you feel the weight of all your troubles crashing in on you.  The peace the Lord gave us through that verse became powerful to us in those days more than I could ever describe.  I wrote it down in more than one place so we could see it regularly and be reminded that our God is in control and He IS all-powerful, above and beyond all we can fathom. The second thing the Lord brought to my attention was something that happened in Numbers 14.  After the Israelites lack of faith to go in and take the Promised Land as God had told them, the Lord told Moses that He would destroy them all right then and there.  Moses begins pleading with God on behalf of the people, and powerfully makes a case to the Lord for the sake of His glory to spare His people.  After Moses prayed and presented his case to the Lord, so to speak, scripture clearly says, "and the Lord changed His mind." What?! Seriously? The Lord can do that?  It almost seemed sacrilegious to me when I first thought I had read what I saw there.  I went on a huge study of God's word, literal translation, other places where this was found in scripture, etc. in the days and weeks ahead to try to understand this.  I can't tell you even now that I completely grasp all that is entailed, but I do know that because of Moses' intense, faithful prayer God changed His mind (KJV says, "repented" which means He was going one way, but turned completely around and went the other direction) and did not destroy His people for the sake of His glory.  Immediately this became my prayer...I shared this with Kenny, and we both prayed for days and weeks with this in mind.  My prayers were something like this: 

 "Lord, I do not claim to understand your ways completely, but I want to know more of You through all of this.  What I do know is,God, you said in your Word that when Moses prayed as He did you changed your mind for the sake of Your name and Your glory.  Lord, if these babies die, our hearts will be absolutely broken, but we WILL give you glory even in the midst of it all.  Yes, people will see us trust You and honor you regardless of how this turns out and will see us go on with the strength only You can provide. That will last for a time, and your name will be glorified...  But, Lord, if you choose to save the lives of these two little men, we will raise them and teach them in the ways of Your kingdom, and they will always know that You chose to save their lives for great and mighty things.  They will grow to be such mighty men of God that their lives will have huge impact on this world for your kingdom, and look at how much more glory You will receive by letting them live!  Their lives will affect many for the sake of the gospel all across this world and for years and years to come.  Lord, we beg you, if you will, to give them life. We do trust you, Lord, through whatever is to come, and we will glorify You no matter what." 

I've heard it said that God's will is what we would choose if we knew everything God knows.  God knows, not me, what REALLY is best and REALLY what will glorify Him most.  I do believe that I can present my case before Him, bring in prayer before His throne all that burdens me, and that obviously doesn't mean He will always change His mind... and it certainly doesn't mean He loves me more or less depending on His decision...He is all knowing and my husband and I certainly are not!   Now, I will not know for certain until I get to heaven whether or not our prayers changed the mind of our Father or not.  I don't know what would have happened if we had prayed differently or what His original intentions were, but I do know those weeks and months of waiting, praying, and multiple appointments grew us in ways that I will never be able to put into words. And I know that on September 11, 2002 we met Joshua and David for the very first time face to face...38 weeks into my pregnancy.  6 lbs 11 oz and 5 lbs 8 oz, as healthy as they could be.  No chromosomal disorder, no prematurity, and even came to find out in the weeks ahead that Joshua's kidney problem was only horseshoe kidney, which had to be monitored closely for a few years but has caused him absolutely no problem whatsoever.  Yes, the weeks that followed were incredibly busy with 4 boys 5 and under, a football coach husband in the middle of a busy season, and living far away from any of our family...however, I would just hold them, change them, and feed them often in quite a weary state, yet with an absolute overflowing heart of thankfulness as I held these precious miracles in my arms.  We would never forget what God had done..and this was just the beginning of their story.

To this day, the twins can't remember a time they didn't know the story of how so many of God's people, many who they will never meet this side of heaven, prayed for them all of those weeks and months and how God chose to use their lives even from birth as a testimony of His power and glory.  They have often been reminded (and will continue being reminded) of their Mama and Daddy's promise to the Lord before they were even born to teach them to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, mind, and strength, and that God put them here on purpose for great purpose for His kingdom. 

I could write an entire book about all of our "twin adventures" so far, especially in those early years, but I suppose maybe I can share some of those in the future!  These two are full of life, and it has been a gift just to get to have a glimpse into the unique relationship of twins that we would have never known.  I hope as you look through the pictures below now knowing some of their story your heart is full seeing God at work through these past 9 years.  I know mine is.  In my next post I will write a little about each of them individually and what the Lord is doing in and through their lives already. We serve a mighty, awesome God! 

4 months old...bet you can guess which one is which!!

Bathtime...about 2 years old

3 years old...always big buddies





sliding down the hill about age 2 (one of our favorite things we used to do at our old house!) These two

have been pretty much fearless from day one!

I love these sweet baby faces!!!  (about 3 1/2 to 4 years old)

hee-hee!!  They make me smile!

Love this picture taken by a friend at church when they were about 3-4

They have always been "eat up with" football (as my husband puts it!)-Age 4

One of my all time favorites of them! (5 years old)



Tough guys!



This past Christmas (8 years old)...absolute sweetness to me!

"IS THE ARM OF THE LORD TOO SHORT?"