Ready or Not

Ok, I'm really doing it. Starting a blog. Seeing that I didn't really even know exactly what the word "blog" meant until way after the average human being in the civilized world, I'd say it's going to be quite impressive if this ever actually gets out there for everyone to see! To be truthful, I have felt quite compelled to write for some time, but every time I would set out to actually start I just felt so inadequate. I have always loved writing. I've kept a journal most of my life, even going back to when I was seven years old (and, yes, I still have them all, which won't surprise those who know me a bit!) Still I love to write, and often try to write in my own journals or journals and letters I keep for my children, but never do I write for others to see. I guess that's what was making me so uncomfortable with the whole blog thing. When I write privately it's not for anyone else to read. Yeah, maybe my husband or children one day might read it if I'm dead and gone before them, but that's different. If I started keeping up a blog anyone and everyone can read it. I'm not sure that I want my innermost thoughts and life stories out there for all to see. That's way too vulnerable for me. I mean, I can't really write well if I'm having to think about correct paragraphing or punctuation. What if someone interprets something entirely different than I intended or thinks that I'm doing this to impress or because I think I have it all figured out? Forget it. Can't do it. Plus, I can't justify spending time blogging with all of life's other responsibilities. Those were many of the arguments going on inside my head...I know, I'm an overthinker. (Tell me something I don't know!) Regardless, I've just kept going back and forth for a year or more now on doing this. If I'm being totally honest, I know the Lord has been prompting me to do this. Why? That's been the exact same question I've been asking Him myself all this time! I even set this whole page up back in February and wrote my first post. I had the layout all done and everything, but I just couldn't make myself click "publish". All I kept thinking is, "Who in the world would want to read anything I have to write? There are so many people out there with much more exciting lives to write about than mine. Not to mention, all of those much older and wiser that have lived and learned much more than me." All I know is that even with so many doubts about this, it's something I'm supposed to do. What is my purpose for this blog? Hmmmm...truthfully? I'm not exactly sure. I think a lot of it is probably just going to be a snapshot of our daily life here in the Dallas household. (let me just say that some days that snapshot is prettier than others, but never dull!) I think in many ways this will also be a bit of what I've already done for so long in my own personal journals...just kind of laying out where I am in this journey and what the Lord is teaching me through life and those around me in this season I am in. (and let me forewarn you that when I "journal" I really DON'T use paragraphs or correct punctuation at all. Just let it all flow together straight out of my brain! If that bothers you, you might want to stop reading now!) All I know is this. I want to be real; authentic to the core. I want to live the "life that is truly life" beginning while I am here on this earth and on into eternity. I don't want to miss it. In my heart of hearts I desire to honor God and impact this world for the kingdom of God in the short time I am here. If you are out there and happen to be reading this blog, I can say from the beginning that in everything I write, I am praying God uses it to encourage or help you in your journey, too...not because I have it all figured out, but because that's the way it's supposed to be in the body of Christ. All of us helping each other along the way. Otherwise there's really no point in me writing at all. Ofcourse, I guess I better click "publish post" this time so that there is actually some chance of that happening.